Happy Birthday Abba.
I still think of you every day but especially on days like today. How I wish you were here to celebrate with us. I keep thinking of the wonderful daddy date we had at La Folie and wish I could treat you there tonight.
I'm having a baby Abba. I wish you were here to share this experience with me. I think of you now as my guardian angel, watching over me and my baby. Somehow I feel that you know my baby already- maybe you picked him/ her out and brought it to me. I remember Granny saying she was sad she'd never get to see my children and you telling me I should have a baby right away. Maybe you are both looking over us now. I know you loved children and loved being a father. And you were a great father to me. Thank you so much for all the love you've given me. I never once doubted that I was special to you. That has helped me through so much and it is something I will pass on to my child.
I love you
Sara
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Friday, October 16, 2009
Pictures of Christopher Kier's Visit to Diamond Springs
Okay the next group of photos I have is when Chris went to Diamond Springs when I went to Hawaii for a week with my friend in Stickton. Chris spent a week with his grandpa and DeeDee in 1993... the first 2 photos is when I am handing him off to grandpa, and he is scared to leave me.
David
David
More Pictures From David
Sarah when she was one week old, then one year old, and an even older photo of Christmas time at Grannie and Grandpa's before Sarah was born.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Pictures from David
Here are photos when Bill arrived at our home upon his return from Mexico being a teacher in Chihuahua... His damaged Rav4, which we got fixed by my friend in Tijuana... We met Amy and her boyfriend one night. Then photos when his Toyota was all fixed (new hood and windshield, etc.) on the day he left... a last photo of him and I ... the last time I saw him, alive.
Please put in the blog with the photos that I regret he left us so soon in his life, we still had much to learn about each other. I was his oldest son, yet I was the newest, not having met until 1989. What a colorful and dynamic personality he had. I miss him very much.
David Kier
Please put in the blog with the photos that I regret he left us so soon in his life, we still had much to learn about each other. I was his oldest son, yet I was the newest, not having met until 1989. What a colorful and dynamic personality he had. I miss him very much.
David Kier
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Happy Birthday Abba
Today is Abba's birthday- the first since his death.
It's been a really hard year. I've really missed him. I broke down just before the wedding ceremony started about him not being there. Someone got Auntie Laurie to come see me. It really helped me dry my eyes and move forward. People talk about the giant Blue Heron that flew over the crowd just as we spoke our vows (I didn't see it- I only saw Mike) but when people described it, I thought about the poem Sachiko told me - talking about how the spirit becomes one with nature and is all around us (I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the bird in the trees, etc). I felt like it was a sign that Abba was there, watching over our ceremony.
Today, I was remembering him taking me to his favorite french restaurant in SF, La Folie, just before I went to Africa. He wanted to help me practice French. :) He taught me how to order food from the waiter and made me speak to the chef when he came to our table (I was feeling shy). He told everyone sitting around us about my trip and how proud he was. It was a really delicious meal, and rather expensive, but he wanted to spoil me and he made me feel very special. I wish I could take him back there and treat him now.
I was thinking about going to Angel Island to be closer to where we placed his ashes, and also to remember the trips we took with Abba, sailing out there and walking around the island when we were younger.
I love all you guys very much. We have a special family. A lot of our qualities come from what Abba gave us, taught us and showed us as our dad. I'm grateful to him for that.
Sara
It's been a really hard year. I've really missed him. I broke down just before the wedding ceremony started about him not being there. Someone got Auntie Laurie to come see me. It really helped me dry my eyes and move forward. People talk about the giant Blue Heron that flew over the crowd just as we spoke our vows (I didn't see it- I only saw Mike) but when people described it, I thought about the poem Sachiko told me - talking about how the spirit becomes one with nature and is all around us (I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the bird in the trees, etc). I felt like it was a sign that Abba was there, watching over our ceremony.
Today, I was remembering him taking me to his favorite french restaurant in SF, La Folie, just before I went to Africa. He wanted to help me practice French. :) He taught me how to order food from the waiter and made me speak to the chef when he came to our table (I was feeling shy). He told everyone sitting around us about my trip and how proud he was. It was a really delicious meal, and rather expensive, but he wanted to spoil me and he made me feel very special. I wish I could take him back there and treat him now.
I was thinking about going to Angel Island to be closer to where we placed his ashes, and also to remember the trips we took with Abba, sailing out there and walking around the island when we were younger.
I love all you guys very much. We have a special family. A lot of our qualities come from what Abba gave us, taught us and showed us as our dad. I'm grateful to him for that.
Sara
Birthday Message from Rob
Happy birthday dad. We all miss you down here. Hope granny baked you a
nice cake and grandpa is bouncing you on his knee.
We all gotta go sometime but I still can't believe you're gone.
I love you. I'm sure you know that now. Thanks for being the best dad
ever in spite of all your challenges I'm only just becoming aware of
as a dad myself. You were really amazing.
Xoxo
Rob
nice cake and grandpa is bouncing you on his knee.
We all gotta go sometime but I still can't believe you're gone.
I love you. I'm sure you know that now. Thanks for being the best dad
ever in spite of all your challenges I'm only just becoming aware of
as a dad myself. You were really amazing.
Xoxo
Rob
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Grandpa Gallagher
It's been awhile since I posted. Preoccupied with the wedding, I suppose. I've been meaning for awhile to write about a dream I had of Abba on Nov 4, where I woke up with my arms around my self, crying.
In my dream, I was at a home with stairs going up and pictures along the wall of family. Near the foot of the stairs was a place to sit and grandpa Gallagher and my dad was there. I think my dad was trying to talk to my grandpa but didn't get a response. I went up to my dad, feeling curious about him being there because I knew he was dead. And then knowing I wouldn't get the chance again, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him and hugged him. And it felt so real. I missed him so much and to get to hug him again felt so good. And I started crying in real life and my tears woke me. I felt like I had gotten a visit.
Now I'm wondering if the dream may have meant something more about grandpa. He died last night in his sleep around 4 am.
Yesterday Mike, Nate and I went to visit grandpa Gallagher with pictures of the wedding. We spent hours there as I sat on his bed holding his hand and describing the pictures we brought, hoping he could picture it in his mind. He was not responding much at all, except for a hand squeeze or an occasional eyebrow raised when I mentioned my name or my grandmother's name. I also described my childhood memories of him and held him and and prayed for him. I told him I loved him, that it was "ok" and thanked him for being a good grandpa to me.
I left his room last night, knowing I would never see him again and woke up this morning to a phone call from my brother Bill. He is with my granny now. He lived 8 years without her and missed her terribly. I hope he and my dad are finally getting along. I like to think there is a reunion of loved ones, welcoming you home to them. Maybe the dream was of my dad coming to greet him.
I am grateful it happened after my wedding. That the timing allowed my family to have a week to be together for both Christmas and the wedding, to celebrate each other, life and joy. And I'm also really grateful that I had a chance to say goodbye.
Sara
In my dream, I was at a home with stairs going up and pictures along the wall of family. Near the foot of the stairs was a place to sit and grandpa Gallagher and my dad was there. I think my dad was trying to talk to my grandpa but didn't get a response. I went up to my dad, feeling curious about him being there because I knew he was dead. And then knowing I wouldn't get the chance again, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him and hugged him. And it felt so real. I missed him so much and to get to hug him again felt so good. And I started crying in real life and my tears woke me. I felt like I had gotten a visit.
Now I'm wondering if the dream may have meant something more about grandpa. He died last night in his sleep around 4 am.
Yesterday Mike, Nate and I went to visit grandpa Gallagher with pictures of the wedding. We spent hours there as I sat on his bed holding his hand and describing the pictures we brought, hoping he could picture it in his mind. He was not responding much at all, except for a hand squeeze or an occasional eyebrow raised when I mentioned my name or my grandmother's name. I also described my childhood memories of him and held him and and prayed for him. I told him I loved him, that it was "ok" and thanked him for being a good grandpa to me.
I left his room last night, knowing I would never see him again and woke up this morning to a phone call from my brother Bill. He is with my granny now. He lived 8 years without her and missed her terribly. I hope he and my dad are finally getting along. I like to think there is a reunion of loved ones, welcoming you home to them. Maybe the dream was of my dad coming to greet him.
I am grateful it happened after my wedding. That the timing allowed my family to have a week to be together for both Christmas and the wedding, to celebrate each other, life and joy. And I'm also really grateful that I had a chance to say goodbye.
Sara
Friday, September 19, 2008
A letter from Kerstin in Germany
A friend of Abba and Tom sent an email in Germany saying she was sorry for our loss.
(Google English Translation: Today I have learned of Manu, your father (Abba) died.
I wanted you to say that I am very sorry and I thought when you and your family bin. It is always difficult when you lose a parent but live in the heart of the parents. Was your father or ill, he had an accident? Register but please look at me. now you also my new e-mail address so we are never lost.
Umarme I love you and also by Volker
Kerstin from Frankfurt, Manuelas friend)
Hi Tommy,
ich habe Heute von Manu erfahren, das dein Vater (Abba) gestorben ist.
Ich wollte Dir nur sagen das es mir sehr leid tut und ich in Gedanken bei dir und Deiner Familie bin. Es ist immer schwer wenn man einen Elternteil verliert aber im Herzen leben die Eltern weiter. War dein Vater krank oder hatte er einen Unfall? Melde dich doch bitte mal bei mir. jetzt hast Du ja auch meine neue E-mail-Adresse so wir gehen niemals verloren.
Ich umarme Dich und liebe Grüsse auch von Volker
Kerstin aus Frankfurt, Manuelas freundin
--
Mit freundlichen Grüßen
Kerstin Langer
(Google English Translation: Today I have learned of Manu, your father (Abba) died.
I wanted you to say that I am very sorry and I thought when you and your family bin. It is always difficult when you lose a parent but live in the heart of the parents. Was your father or ill, he had an accident? Register but please look at me. now you also my new e-mail address so we are never lost.
Umarme I love you and also by Volker
Kerstin from Frankfurt, Manuelas friend)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
A Thousand Winds
Sachiko called me and played me a song in Japanese based on the poem "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep." She played it in the background and interpreted it. It was really sweet and I really appreciated it. I found a video of the song on You Tube with English subtitles: A Thousand Winds
My rational mind really fights with this- but more and more I've been having experiences that have left me feeling some sort of connection/ communication from beyond the grave- (things like my experience getting my locket in Sea Ranch and Sachiko's contact). Yesterday, at Mono Hot Springs, I met a woman, a practicing shaman, who gave me a massage. She asked me if I knew what it was causing me pain and it made me just cry and cry. I told her about Abba and she told me there was no death, he was right there with me- that now he's even closer to me than he was in the physical form. The things she talked about reminded me of this song and poem that Sachiko shared. She talked a lot about how to work though pain (by thanking it for the experience and releasing it with love) and said something that about how we're all whole and complete, perfect beings-something that Abba had said to me before he died. Then, after she left the room, I heard his voice in my head saying "Forgive me." I've been thinking about that since. Maybe it's what I need to work on most. Maybe that's the only way I'll be able to move forward. That voice gave me the key toward healing.
On the way home "Time in a Bottle" played in the restaurant. it's been a song that's reminded me of Abba lately, so I had Nate make it the song of the day for this blog.
Sachiko said in Buddhism they believe that the spirits of those that died are still around us. Mariah said that there are Native American cultures that believe that a person does not truly die until all who knew the person is gone. He lives on in our memories and hearts. I have no rational explanation for the things I think I'm experiencing. Maybe it's just all in my brain and what I need to believe, but it helps me to think he's near, still sharing experiences with me, being my guardian angel and among the "thousand winds" around me.
My rational mind really fights with this- but more and more I've been having experiences that have left me feeling some sort of connection/ communication from beyond the grave- (things like my experience getting my locket in Sea Ranch and Sachiko's contact). Yesterday, at Mono Hot Springs, I met a woman, a practicing shaman, who gave me a massage. She asked me if I knew what it was causing me pain and it made me just cry and cry. I told her about Abba and she told me there was no death, he was right there with me- that now he's even closer to me than he was in the physical form. The things she talked about reminded me of this song and poem that Sachiko shared. She talked a lot about how to work though pain (by thanking it for the experience and releasing it with love) and said something that about how we're all whole and complete, perfect beings-something that Abba had said to me before he died. Then, after she left the room, I heard his voice in my head saying "Forgive me." I've been thinking about that since. Maybe it's what I need to work on most. Maybe that's the only way I'll be able to move forward. That voice gave me the key toward healing.
On the way home "Time in a Bottle" played in the restaurant. it's been a song that's reminded me of Abba lately, so I had Nate make it the song of the day for this blog.
Sachiko said in Buddhism they believe that the spirits of those that died are still around us. Mariah said that there are Native American cultures that believe that a person does not truly die until all who knew the person is gone. He lives on in our memories and hearts. I have no rational explanation for the things I think I'm experiencing. Maybe it's just all in my brain and what I need to believe, but it helps me to think he's near, still sharing experiences with me, being my guardian angel and among the "thousand winds" around me.
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